the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
