Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
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I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
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Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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