I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
