i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
