i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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