I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
