is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
