I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
