Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
