I feel like abortions should bother me more
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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