why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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