i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
