I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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