TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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