where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
