Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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