Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I have post one night stand depression
tell me about the fingering
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
