I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
