so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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