I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i believe in u and ur pee
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
