He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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