I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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