I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
