there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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