Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
