You work out of a Hotel?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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