just come out here and I will go home with you...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
