not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
