...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
