it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im six kinds of drunk right now
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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