"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My room smells like vodka and shame
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
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Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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