In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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