its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Randomize
