Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
