I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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