went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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