it's too hot outside to masturbate.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷ðŸ»â€â™€ï¸
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
