3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
