How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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