OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
