How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
