Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
