do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
