P.S. I can't hear my feet
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
