I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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