His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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