there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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