i was born a porn star she said
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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