is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
