I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
