Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
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We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
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So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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