Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
