WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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