Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
