problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
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I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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