Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Randomize
