Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
