He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
