went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
