bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
