K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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