Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize