I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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