So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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