My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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