You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
