dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
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