ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
